Tonight, we watched thank you for smoking. I sat alone in a chair while Andrea and Eric snuggled on the couch and remembered when I saw it whith Kyle and watched them and felt utterly and completely alone. Thought about how I don't know if he even wants me anymore.
This Petrograd song from a mix cd Kathlyn gave me 3 years ago keeps coming on. "don't be afraid, he'll be back again. He will knock at your door louder than he ever did, than you have ever heard..."
Every time I hear it I cry or almost cry, because I don't know if he's gone, and if he is, I don't know if he's coming back. And I can't help but wonder, what did I do? What didn't I do? Where did we lose our way?
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