Beautiful Boys...

they now know I exist.

Today was full of them, with Kenny Sunshine in the daytime and Eric at night. Two boys that I idolized are now wanting to spend time with me and it's bizarre. Especially Ken. Eric wanted to spend time with Andrea and I started showing up, but Ken got a hold of me.
I have an unusual way of coping with that.

I was thinking about these beautiful boys and how now they are real, and it occurred to me that I never see beautiful boys anymore. Not like I used to. They used ot be everywhere. Now I see cute boys, but never the beautiful ones I used to.

And there was this song on Eric's ipod, a mewithoutyou song. Something about two pennies on a train track crushed into one and traps turning on their owners. That reminded me of my boy, the one I love so dearly. I really do. This fighting is stupid. I know it's going to take a while to fix, but I think I'm finally ready to take steps in the right direction.
It's part of living.