So Scummy...

It has been a very long time since I washed my hair. It is evident.
I've been communicating with Kyle through emails, meaning that he has been sending me emails and I have been reading them and sobbing. Every night, and every morning when I wake up. And at least once a day besides that usually.
But he decided that he wants to see me, that he wants to watch A Scanner Darkly with me tomorrow. I said yes.
Well, that's not the whole truth.
First I cried like the drunk sentimentalist that I was. Then I wrote him an email explaining how he was confusing me. Then He wrote me back and I cried some more. Then I wrote him back, explaining what this is doing to me, and telling him that I was going to think about it. Then I talked to Andrea and Brooke and Brooke's friend Tori, and we came to the decision that going and crying was better than staying away, crying, and regretting it horribly. Then I wrote him back an email sayng that I would watch it with him.
I dont know where we stand. I dont know what's going to happen tomorrow, aside form the fact that I am going to be a sobby mess.
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Here are the various ways it could go:
1.) I show up at his house/he picks me up, and we get on a good start. I'm a little sobby, but generally ok. we sit close and during the movie he starts kissing me etc. I start sobbing and freak out and he gets really upset and cries too. He drives me to a starbucks/Andrea's house/the train station and leaves me there, sobbing. He is very angry.

2.) I show up at his house/he picks me up, and I immediately start sobbing. Hardcore. I sit as far away from him on the couch as possible and sob. We don't get to the movie. He gets angry and drops me off somewhere.

3.) I show up at his house/he picks me up, and I immediately start sobbing. Hardcore. I sit as far away from him on the couch as possible and sob. He just sits there. We don't get to the movie. At some point, he asks if he can hold me. I reluctantly say yes. we sit. He eventually drops me off.

4.} I shoe up at his house/he picks me up, and it goes ok. I cry, a lot, but we watch the movie and end up just laying there, silent. holding each other. Eventually he drops me off.
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I think it's going to be a mix of all of those. Hopefully not number 1. I don't need that. He says he's going to call me right now though. I'm so nervous. It's weird.