"I have this guilt and I don't know why"- Sarah Kane

I feel like running away.
Maybe I will, I don't know. But there's this lingering guilt over nothing and an urge to do what I had planned on from the beginning: couch hop. Maybe take up residence with Mike Robinson. I don't know.
Things feel like they're going away from what I wanted. I'm questioning the purpose of my being here. It seems like a waste of time and money. I don't see what I'm accomplishing taking classes that I neither need nor feel like I am actively participating in. I mean, I like to think I do my best, but it's not making sense right now.
It's halloween. I don't want to get out of a bed that I haven't even crawled into yet. I'm worried.
I think it's that paper I wrote about him. It is, for whatever reason, making me question my choices about everything. Don't get me wrong, I like it here, but i could be taking care of tings and actually preparing for whatever future I might have. Maybe it's because I'm tired. Maybe it's that long conversation I had with that kid James tonight (I think that was his name). I don't know,
That is the exact problem. I don't know. I hit some sort of wall. And I really hope it stops here.