Nightmares

Today when I took a nap I had a nightmare, as I usually do when I sleep during the day in my bed. There were corpses and people eating said corpses and this fire. I was in a burning building. I knew I was going to die and I was surrounded by people who were going to eat my charred flesh if they didn't go first.
I woke up unafraid. I woke up jealous of my sleeping self, the girl in the fire. I wanted to go back.
On the L ride hme from horticulure it hit me why.
This, my waking life, is the nightmare. That was nothing. I was in need f that escape so badly when it came as death it didn't hurt. The L ride there involved power outages. I couldn't find the painting for Kyle and I think he thinks I just didn't look hard enough. I searched the entire museum for that painting and didn't find it. It's raining and I don't know where my umbrella is.
That building is still burning. We have some sort of powder keg with our friends and it's going to blow up soon, My key card was deactivated. I have slept two hours in the past 24, and have eaten nothing but a half piece of pizza that i picked apart anyways and candy and coffee and cigarettes.
I don't understand.
And I'm sincerely worried about Michael. I saw him while walking back to the apartment, head down and ipod on. I tried to say hello, but he didn't respond. I practically stuck my head under his umbrella. Nothing. So I sent him a text message asing him how he was doing and got no response. Christ. I don't know what to do, the wall is getting thicker. I'm less than a year or so removed from the other side of that same wall. I used to know. Part of me wants to go back, just to get through to him and understand what he's going through.
I'm lost.